For most divorcing couples, the single best thing they can do - for the sake of their
children, their future relationship, and their wallets - is to keep the process as civil
as possible. Fighting about the child custody, child support or alimony in court
guarantees big legal bills, bitterness, and anguish children.
That means that choosing the right lawyer is very important. You want someone who can
help you keep things calm - but also protect your rights and those of your children.
Many lawyers, whether or not they are also trained mediators, can help you negotiate
with your spouse and work out hte big issues of child custody, support and property
division. So when you interview lawyers, talk to them about negotiating a settlement
rather than fighting it out in court.
Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to keep a divorce amicable. If your spouse is
being dishonest or vindictive, or there has been abuse, a lawyer can help you protect
yourself and your children. And if your spouse hires an especially aggressive lawyer,
you’ll need someone representing you who can fight back.
Do you and your spouse each need a lawyer?
If you and your spouse do agree on all the big issues, can you just hire one lawyer to
draw up the paperwork and save yourselves some money and hassle? Because lawyers have a
duty to represent each client zealously, one lawyer may represent both of you only if
you and your spouse:
- agree on the major issues
- are confident you can work out any minor problems that come up
- understand that the lawyer cannot fully represent both of you under the
circumstances, and
- just want the lawyer to do the paperwork.
You’ll need to agree to these conditions in writing. And if a disagreement does arise,
teh lawyer will have to transfer at least one of you to another lawyer. Both of you may
meed to get new lawyers if it would be unfair for the first lawyer to continue to
represent one of you.
Collaborative Divorce Lawyers
More and more family lawyers are trained in the techniques of “collaborative divorce.”
Each spouse hires and attorney, but everyone agrees that they will share information
voluntarily and work cooperatively towards a settlement instead of fighting in court.
The lawyers also agree that if the case can’t be settled, you and your spouse must hire
other lawyers to handle the litigation. This removes the lawyers financial incentive to
go to court - and encourages everyone to settle earlier.
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